The SEO ninjas of “Whitehat, Blackbelt” are big fans of The Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog and its author, Andrew Martin. Honestly, with blog titles like “Woman Crushes Watermelon with Torpedo-Sized Breast Implants”, how can we not love him? So when Heidi Montag’s publicity machine launched into overdrive after she underwent ten cosmetic surgery procedures in one day, Tara, Patti and Becky pulled off a ninja maneuver, kidnapping him to co-author a collaborative guest post as only Andrew can. Let’s face it – no matter what you may think of them, Heidi and Spencer are geniuses at the art of self-promotion, and there are some solid SEO lessons to be learned from their vapid antics. So many, in fact, that we’re presenting these profound insights to the world in a three part series. Read on, grasshoppers…

Heidi Montag, SEO Genius?

11 SEO Lessons you can Learn from Heidi Montag

by Andrew Martin of The Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog

Reality TV star and fame whore Heidi Montag has garnered a rather large chunk of press attention in the past few weeks, thanks mainly to her more-information-than-we-need-to-know disclosure of her ten plastic surgery procedures, all performed in one day. It is clear to the entire world, other than Heidi herself, that she has no talent whatsoever. Yet, for some reason, she just won’t go away.

I’ve never understood how the American public can be so easily duped. For more than a decade now, hordes of idiots have usurped much more than their fifteen minutes of fame thanks to roles on reality TV shows. It’s as if these people validate something inside the average American. They remind us that regardless of our level of intelligence, there are those out there significantly dumber than we are.

Or are they? Based on all of the press coverage I have read and viewed regarding Heidi Montag, I’m convinced that she is most likely in the dumbest 2% of our population. Yet she is a multi-millionaire and I am trying to scrape together enough cash to avoid a diet of peanut butter and jelly. I have an Ivy League degree and a Master’s degree in education. Not to sound arrogant, but I legitimately consider myself fairly educated and intelligent, and this utter moron has earned more money by the age of 23 than I most likely will earn in my entire life. So I beg to ask the unspeakable question – is Heidi Montag actually much more intelligent than we give her credit for?

I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that my response may incriminate me, robbing me of any credibility I may have built up in my brief existence on this planet. However, I will go as far as to say that if we dig deep enough, we can learn a thing or two from this no-talent fame whore who just won’t seem to go away. Shocking, I know, but true nonetheless.

In particular, the world of SEO can benefit greatly from Heidi’s savvy fame whoring tactics. After all, the main purpose of SEO is to help you get noticed, and there are very few people out there with greater skill in this department. Heidi’s enduring fame – if we can call it fame – lies entirely on her ability to stay in the public eye. The moment we stop noticing her, she will disappear from the public consciousness, hopefully never to return. By applying Heidi’s tactics to your optimization strategies, you can help your clients get – and stay – noticed by the cyber world.

I have chosen to use Heidi’s recent book, coauthored with her husband Spencer Pratt, as a metaphor for these lessons. The book is aptly titled “How to Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press, and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture.” I would like to title this version, “How to Get First Page Results: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Search Engines, and Becoming an Internet Fixture.” There are 11 chapters in Heidi’s book; therefore, I will provide 11 lessons to help boost your SEO results through the stratosphere, just as a massive amount of silicone has done to Heidi’s newly augmented boobs.

Lesson 1: Point of Entry

Attach yourself to people who are more famous than you. Heidi initially achieved her fame by riding her friend Lauren Conrad’s coattails. Conrad earned her fame on the reality TV show “Laguna Beach.” Montag first entered the public spotlight as her side kick on this show before getting her own reality spin-off, “The Hills.” Without someone more famous to help shine the spotlight on Montag, we most likely would have never noticed her.

SEO lesson: High profile people/search terms and high page ranked sites help you garner better SERP. The more you can associate yourself with other people, terms, or sites already achieving SEO success, the better. There is no downside, and it may help you leap to the top of the search engines a lot faster.

Lesson 2: Spencer’s Guide to Playing the Villain

Spencer Pratt adopted a public persona (“the villain”) which made it easier for him to attract interest and build a celebrity profile. He could have chosen a different persona, but America loves a good villain. Had he chosen “the boy next door” persona, vastly fewer people would have taken notice.

SEO lesson: You don’t need to be the villain, but you do need to say something interesting to get noticed. Dull content and a forgettable message will not make people want to view your site. It is important to remember that your online persona should stay consistent. You are building your brand with this persona. If you develop an “online identity crisis,” it may hurt your ability to build this brand and garner attention for yourself.

Lesson 3: Heidi’s Guide to Playing the Bombshell

I think this one speaks for itself. Beautiful women stand out in the crowd. Heidi has admitted many times that her motives for undergoing 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day were strictly career-driven. In her line of work, beauty correlates to success.

SEO lesson: Visually stunning web content stands out in the crowd. Do not overlook the ability of a strong web design to help increase your search engine results. A stunning design will make your website more appealing to consumers, which will ultimately make it more appealing to the search engines as well.

Stay tuned to White Hat, Black Belt for more SEO lessons from Heidi and Spencer!

Go to Part 2 >>